Bookends: a conclusion to our study on dating in 2 Timothy

This week we are concluding our series on Dating Warfare. Just some concluding thoughts to wrap up a series on Honor, Courage, Commitment and Example. We too often consider the dating scene and romance as flippantly as the culture does. Yet as followers of Jesus Christ we are called to a much fuller life then what the world or media displays.

Do you ever look around from the celebrity break ups to the divorce of family friends, or even your parents, and think that there must be more to romance then this? I do.

As a pastor I struggle so much with seeing the pain and destruction of lives all around me. I want to fix every brokenness I encounter, but I can’t. I can see the brokenness, but I can’t repair it. Neither can you. Only Jesus can.

I can tell people what the Word of God says, but I cannot make them obey it. I can preach the Gospel, but I cannot make someone believe it. I can tell you what the Creator says about love, sex and romance, but I can’t make you follow His path.

Each person must encounter Christ and choose to follow Him. As you choose to follow Christ, you will appreciate the encouragement of other believers who all seeking to walk with Jesus together. Yet it starts with a repentant heart and desire for Christ.

Yes I just slipped into an apologetic for the Gospel at the beginning of a lesson on dating. Dating is broken. It is two sinners, to very selfish people trying to fulfill longings and desires as best they can with competing views about sex, intimacy and love all jumbled up in their heads. The Gospel is the only answer to give to help people navigate the war within.  The Gospel promises life, life to the full.

The Promise of Life

Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God according to the promise of the life that is in Christ Jesus, To Timothy, my beloved child: Grace, mercy, and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord. (2 Timothy 1:1-2 ESV)

Paul tells Timothy that the reason he is an apostle is by the will of God according to the promise of life in Christ. He is saying, “I do what I do because there is true life, a life worth living, a life that is fulfilling, a life the way it is meant to be that can only be found in Jesus.”

We are encountered again with a choice we have to make: do we trust God, or do we trust man? The promise that we find in Christ, when we follow Him, is that our relationships will be fulfilling and wonderful. This implies that there is a belief and a way of living that will lead to this.

The world teaches that God’s way is prude and ridiculous. Sex is no big deal and a lasting marriage is only for the fairy tales. Relationships are about the feelings, when they are gone move on. Pursue happiness above all else, be true to yourself and do what you want, after all you only live once. 

The Proverbs remind us that “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death (Proverbs 14:12 ESV).

What is God’s way?

Pursue of Purity

So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. (2 Timothy 2:22 ESV)

Paul tells us that we are to flee from the worldly teachings, the fleshly lusts and the immature views of relationship. We all go through phases of incorrect thinking as we mature. The question is, are you maturing?

In short, love Jesus with all you are and He will work out the details. Or put another way, in life, run toward Christ with all you got. Establish your pace. Then look around and see who is running with you.

Practically this is seen by putting off the old man and putting on the new man. Become more like Jesus. God says to be “holy as I am holy.” So we ask the question, “how pure can I be” not, “how far is too far”?

When we pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace we begin to see that life is about bringing glory to God, not our personal happiness. You begin to see that true joy and happiness abound when you glorify God with your life. You realize what you thought was fulfilling and made you happy was actually slowly destroying you and robbing you of joy.

Make a pure heart your goal in relationships and see how God blesses you.

Rescue and Safety

The Lord will rescue me from every evil deed and bring me safely into his heavenly kingdom. To him be the glory forever and ever. Amen. (2 Timothy 4:18 ESV)

We must be reminded though, that we do live in a broken and sinful world. What this means is that you have or will encounter sin in your relationships. Maybe someone has already sinned against you and abused you relationally, emotionally, physically or sexually. If you have been abused, it’s not your fault. Jesus wants to bring healing and hope. God in heaven has not forgotten about you and He loves you. Though this world is full of fear and uncertainties, God promises that we do not have to fear our eternity! He is loving rescue.

Maybe you have committed sin in your relationships. If you have looked at porn, fooled around sexually, had sex or mistreated people, this verse promises that Jesus will rescue you and bring you to safety. He will forgive you and restore purity. When you trust Christ, He makes you brand new (2 Corinthians 5:17). The moment you trust Him and walk in His way, you can have confidence that He will guide you into a fuller life.

Never Alone

The Lord be with your spirit. Grace be with you. (2 Timothy 4:22 ESV)

Doing the right thing, following Jesus, can feel lonely at times. Every movie and TV show you watch seem to be telling you things in opposition to God’s Word. Your friends at school are all living differently then what you know God wants you to do. Sometimes even your family doesn’t support God’s view of relationships.

When it seems like everything is against you, remember that Jesus is with you. He is walking this path with you. He promises that He will never leave or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). Hold fast to His Words and you will reap your reward. Don’t settle for the cheap imitation this world has to offer, but strive for and wait for the real thing.

I know the promises of God are true. I cling to them everyday. When I fail, I run to Him for forgiveness. When I am lonely, I seek His presence. When I am confused, I read His Word for guidance. My desire is to live every part of my life in such a way that brings glory to Jesus. My hope is that my relational pursuits are done in such a way that God is glorified and each of us encouraged no matter what the outcome is.

For me when I date, I seek to encourage the girl I date in her walk with God. I seek to treat her the way God would want me to treat His daughter. I seek to help her see that she is created in the image of God and is beautiful the way she is and is loved by her Creator. In doing these things, I hope that she will have a better understanding of what God wants for her, whether we get married or not. Because it’s not about me, it’s not about her, it is about Jesus.