A Tale of Two Friends

Paul writes a very impassioned and poignant treaties to young Timothy. He gave a charge for his ministry, a warning about the times and a reminder of his example to him. These are profound, direct and urgent.

Yet there is a subtle illustration left for him. I almost missed it. Read 2 Timothy 4:9-22 under the heading “Personal Instructions.” Did you catch it?

You may not at first. If you are like me, you get to a list of names and kind of go “blah, blah, blah,” and wonder why God didn’t give these guys good American names that are easy to pronounce. Then I look between the names to see if there is anything there for me so I can say I didn’t miss it. Yet sometimes its in the very names themselves that we see what is being given.

Each name is a real person. A REAL person, meaning they had doubts, worries, and fears. They had passions, joys and feelings. They were very much like you and I. Sure a different time and different country. But very much like us.

A Tale of Two Friends

What I never caught before was two guys on Paul’s list. They appear here, in Paul’s final written greeting recorded. What a list to be on! The greatest missionary of all time, writer of 2/3 of the New Testament and an apostle of Jesus Christ writes your name in a final greeting, I couldn’t imagine!

Paul records two guys with two very different statements describing them. Both of them had similar opportunities at the beginning. They both were companions with Paul and had traveled across the world for the sake of the Gospel. Yet their stories become very different.

Are you in or out?

John was selected early to be an assistant to Paul and Barnabas on the first missionary journey. Man they had a time of it. John heard some amazing sermons and saw some crazy things. Perhaps the intensity of the trip and confrontations with magicians were a bit to much for him, and John packed his bags and went back to Jerusalem (Acts 12-13). Paul didn’t seem to care much for quitters, so he “shook the dust” from his feet and kept moving on for the Gospel.

Some time later, Barnabas wanted give John another opportunity, but Paul forbid it (Acts 15). Have you ever been in an argument with your best friend? An argument with such harsh disagreement that you parted ways? It is something very significant. Paul had given John a chance and he failed, so he was done. Barnabas, the encourager, saw potential in John and chose to disciple him at great cost. The team split up, Paul took Silas and Barnabas took John and they went their separate ways.

Things are not always as they appear

Somewhere on his journey’s Paul encountered Demas. Not much is known about him, but he is seen as a companion and close confidant of Paul’s. He too had the privilege of traveling city to city, hearing Paul defend the faith in synagogues across the land. He is included in Paul’s list of close friends in a letter to the Colossians and to Philemon.

Interesting enough, we see Mark listed with Demas in both of these places. Paul had at some point allowed Mark, also known as John, back on his team. Demas and John traveled together under the discipleship of the apostle Paul. What an amazing opportunity.

It’s not how you begin but how you end

Once again, we are back in 2 Timothy 4, the end of Paul’s life and the concluding remarks we know about these two friends. Paul is transparent in his hurt, his pain and his love.

Demas has abandoned Paul, but not only Paul. Demas was once part of the inner circle and now it says, “in love with this present world.” At some point, though he was close to an amazing teacher of the Bible and had amazing Christian friends, Demas chose to love the world over God. Jesus told us that we cannot love this world and God, we must choose. Demas chose poorly. Demas had a great start, but his end is heartbreaking.

John had a rocky start. He quite and Paul saw him as useless. Paul even divided from his best friend because he felt John was a loser. Yet, Paul changed his mind. He tells his young disciple Timothy to bring John with him. In his last days, Paul wanted John close to him because he saw he was useful.

Your story

What can we learn from John and Demas? Especially as we are concluding our Dating Warfare series?

Demas was the guy who looked like he had it all together. He hung out with the right people and he talked the talk. Yet his heart was drawn away by the enticements of this world. He stopped believing the truth and he bought into the lies. He allowed the love for pleasure and this life to consume him and he departed from those who he trusted.

The Proverbs say “he that thinks he stands, beware lest he falls.” Or put another way, “pride comes before the fall.” When you think you got it all together, that you are different or special and that you can bend/break rules and it will work out, watch out. It only takes a moment of weakness to give into the lies, but if you continue to follow the lies you will begin to believe them. Remember “sin takes you farther than you want to go, keeps you longer then you want to stay, and will cost you more then you want to pay.”

John got off to a rocky start. He joined up and gave it a shot, but felt like it was too much for him. He turned back. Yet he saw the errors of his ways, sought out his cousin Barnabas and asked him to mentor him. Before too long he was hanging out with the right crowd and learning to be faithful to his call. He followed the truth and God blessed him for it. Paul recognized the change and trusted him.

In your life, you may make mistakes…you will make mistakes. But it does not have to end there. Never give up. Surround yourself with godly Christian influences. Enlist a mentor who can help you make good decisions. Allow the truth of God’s Word to defeat the lies. Become a John and not a Demas.

Maybe you have messed up. Maybe you messed up big time. Maybe you are dating the wrong guy, or you have had sex, or you have a broken heart. It is not too late. God is a forgiving God who can bring healing to your heart. Turn to Him, trust Him and ask Him to forgive you (1 John 1:9). He will never turn you away and He will make you new (2 Corinthians 5:17).