Responsibility, What's That?

Our last episode ended with Boaz’s promise to settle things today. Settle what? Remember Ruth proposed to Boaz and he is excited to marry her, but there is another relative closer to her that has rights to redeem the land. At the very onset of this newly forming relationship is a huge obstacle, but Boaz shows determination and promises to find out right away where they stand.

The custom of the day was that the closest relative could redeem Elimelech’s land, but in redeeming the land would also include marring Ruth. Boaz had observed Ruth’s faithfulness, heard her reputation and has known her character, therefore he is willing to redeem her. However, he had a responsibility to God’s law to make known the opportunity to the relative closer then he.

Responsibility isn’t a popular word these days. The temptation is always to do whatever we want to do without worrying about the consequences. Responsibility recognizes that everything we do carries consequences and acting appropriately in response. An old Christian punk band once wrote, “responsibility, what’s that, responsibility not yet…I’m still young and I want to stay that way…”

My dad and mom raised me to “run” toward responsibility. That a sign of maturity is to be willing to take on responsibility when others wont. As a teenager I got a job as soon as I could. I became a counselor at camp. I was the van driver for my ministry team. And so on. Each decision I made to take on responsibility limited my freedom but trained me to become the man I am today.

Boaz took up the charge to put aside his feelings and desires and to responsibly proceed according to the law.

When he encounters his relative at the city gates, which would be like going to the court room to complete legal transactions today, he sat down with him and presented the offer. He told him, “Elimelech’s land and property is available to be redeemed and you are the closest relative and have first rights.” What was Boaz leaving out? Oh the marriage to Ruth.

Nowhere in the story up to this point has the family’s land been the object of discussion. There is a romance between Ruth and Boaz that has been growing, but Boaz doesn’t open with that. Instead, he brings attention to the land and properties of Elimelech.

The relative, like any other savvy businessman of the day, responded with a desire to redeem the land. It was only then that Boaz revealed that redeeming the land would also require marrying Ruth. The relative responded with “in that case, I cannot redeem the land lest I impair my own inheritance, it is yours.” In front of the town leaders, Boaz was able to get his cousin to pass on the opportunity and promise it to him.

I like to think that Boaz new his cousin’s situation. He knew that being a redeemer was a weighty matter and he hoped that his cousin would be unwilling to follow through with it. There would be a lot of responsibility placed on whoever was the redeemer.

Even in this part of the story we see a beautiful illustration of God’s love for us. A redeemer had to be willing to redeem his people, and God showed His willingness in His Son Jesus Christ. He took on the responsibility of our sins and provided a way for forgiveness and reconciliation.

Boaz’s willingness to redeem Ruth is a picture of Christ’s love for the church. True love is a sacrificial love, a responsible love and a love that takes on responsibilities, even when they are not convenient or fun. That’s why Paul says in Ephesians “husband’s love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”

 Boaz kept his promise that very day. He was able to control his own desires and emotions to risk the very thing he wanted by fulfilling his duty to make known the option to his cousin. His obedient faithfulness to God’s law was rewarded when his cousin was unwilling to be the redeemer freeing up Boaz to marry Ruth. When we obey God’s in all circumstances we are positioning ourselves to see His blessings in our lives.

Should a Girl Pursue a Guy or Wait for Him?

“Should a girl pursue a guy if she sees godly qualities? Or should she wait for a guy to pursue her?”

This is a great question and it was submitted to our “Anonymous Question Box” that I put out every dating series. While the traditional codes of chivalry would seem to dictate that a woman should wait for a man to pursue her, we have an example in Scriptures of a virtuous woman pursuing a godly man. Let’s look at Ruth 3 as we consider the answer to the question above.

The chapter opens with Naomi, Ruth’s mother-in-law, scheming of a way to get Boaz to notice the bigger picture. We have seen in chapter 2 that Boaz has noticed Ruth and found her to be a woman of character and he respected her a lot. They seem to even have had a date night and he continued to provide and protect Ruth. But then Boaz drops the ball, nothing happens.

We are not immediately told why Boaz didn’t do anything to further the relationship, but Ruth, with Naomi’s advice, sees fit to bring the issue directly to Boaz. So Naomi tells Ruth to get cleaned up, put some perfume on and change her clothes from that of a mourner to clothes that shows the time of mourning are over. Remember, that in chapter 1 we see that Ruth’s first husband has died.

Here is the plan, Ruth is to go to the threshing floor of Boaz at night, right after Boaz lies down to sleep, and uncover his feet and lay at his feet. Naomi told Ruth that Boaz would tell her what to do next.

What?! Right?! How many of you would think this was a good idea? Haha yeah, talk about creepy.

There doesn’t seem to be any cultural equivalent to this. Ruth was probably thinking,” can’t I just Snapchat him?” Back in Moab they would have just “swiped right” and everything would be cool. But she wasn’t in Moab anymore.

Ruth told Naomi that she would do whatever she was told to do. Think about it, Ruth was willing to risk an awful lot in this scenario. What kind of things do you think she was risking?

Security, provisions, reputation, honor, friendship, to name a few. Boaz had made provisions for her to glean in his fields, if he rejected her, would he take that provision away. She had already lost a husband and moved to a foreign land, could she bare another insult if rejected. What would the towns people say? So many other thoughts could’ve prevented her from risking it, but she did.

The night finally came and Boaz was in a good mood as he lay down on the threshing floor to protect his harvest. Ruth crept in, uncovered his feet and lay down at his feet. We are not told what startled Boaz, I think it was cold feet, but he awoke and found Ruth at his feet.

I can’t imagine Ruth would have been comfortable enough to fall asleep, probably laying their anxiously thinking about the worst possible outcomes of this ridiculous endeavor. So she was ready when he asked, “Who are you?” She replied, “your servant Ruth. Spread your wings over your servant for you are a redeemer!”

Let me interpret, “I am Ruth, will you marry me and fulfill the duty of the kinsman redeemer?”

No holding back, no veiled innuendo, just straight talk. Now a Kinsman Redeemer comes from the Law in Deuteronomy 25 and Leviticus 25. When a family loses their land or a widow loses her husband, the nearest relative could redeem them. It’s more then just a marriage, it is inheriting all that was Elimelech’s responsibilities.

If Boaz would accept this proposal, he would gain all of Elimelech’s land, property, gain Ruth as a wife and agree to care for Naomi. Only a relative could be the kinsman redeemer.

Boaz is humbled and honored by her gesture and blesses Ruth. We learn a lot about Boaz in the next couple of phrases. “You have made this last kindness greater than the first in that you have not gone after young men, whether rich or poor.”

The first kindness was when Ruth left Moab and vowed to commit to leave and cleave to Naomi. Here Boaz is recognizing another sacrifice Ruth was making, that instead of just marrying anyone, she was willing to seek a kinsman redeemer that would not only secure her but also Naomi. Ruth’s options were greatly reduced when she agreed to it.

Boaz basically is saying that he didn’t think Ruth would have even considered him. She could have had a younger man, a rich man or anyone. His own insecurities prevented him from pursuing Ruth.

In the dating world, our insecurities can really damage the success of our relationships. It is so important that we develop a healthy understanding of who we are in Christ that will give us confidence to be ourselves. God has specially made you and has a plan for you, never doubt His love for you and the provisions He has in store. Especially learn to take your sins to the cross and allow the power of forgiveness to heal you. Your past mistakes don’t have to define your future.

Boaz promises to do as she asks, but reveals to Ruth that there is another redeemer, a closer relative. Now it get’s really scary! Ruth has met Boaz, seen what kind of man he is and is attracted to him. However, she has asked to be redeemed and the closest relative can now claim that right. She doesn’t know this other man.

Boaz concludes the chapter by giving Ruth a gift of 6 measures of barley, a sign to Ruth and Naomi that Boaz intends to fulfill this duty. He promises that very next morning to find out what the other relative thinks on this.

We learn a lot from Ruth and Boaz in this story. The importance of preparation and getting ready to meet someone, being vulnerable and willing to risk a lot for something we want, dealing with insecurities and being intention in our pursuits.

We also learn, that even godly established men have insecurities and may be oblivious to the potential romance in front of them. Ruth could have waited on Boaz and he may never have pursued her, or even realized that she was interested in him. He was older and had a lot or responsibilities.

So can a woman pursue a guy? Yes, I believe Ruth demonstrates that a godly woman can indeed pursue a guy. But she has to be willing to risk. He may be oblivious, or insecure and therefore needs someone to make her feelings obvious. However, he may not be interested and that is why he hasn’t pursued.

That is why working through insecurities are so important. If take the risk, you might be rejected, but that doesn’t mean God rejects you. Learn from Ruth, have a godly mentor and wait patiently on God. With any risk comes the possibility of being disappointed, but there is also the possibility of gain. The choice is up to you.

As a disclaimer, I think that young men need to step up to the plate and pursue the girl. It can be scary, rejection isn't easy, but it is important for boys to learn to be men and be godly leaders. Even though Ruth made the proposal, once Boaz realized what was going on, he began the steps to pursue her. 

Ladies, if you are pursuing a guy and he never pursues you back, it's time to move on. You deserve to be with a guy who will pursue you and love you the way Christ loves the Church. Christ sacrificed for the Church, He pursed the Church and He demonstrated His love for the Church. Wait on God to find a man who will love you the way Christ does. 

Taking Notice

You ever feel like God is against you? You know, when everything seems to be going the wrong way and nothing you do seems to work out right. It becomes easy to think that God doesn’t want us to be happy and must have forgotten about us.

This is easily how Ruth might have felt in chapter 2. Her husband died, her father-in-law died, her sister-in-law left, and her mother-in-law is struggling with her own depression and doubt, and she is moving to a foreign land. No job, no husband, no money, only faith that God will get them through. Yet Ruth, is holding fast to her new faith in the God of the Bible, the God of Naomi.

Ruth did not allow her present circumstances to shape her character, instead she allowed her faith in God to mold her into a woman of God.

She sticks with Naomi and sets about seeking a way to provide for her and Naomi. Now the Law of Moses had provision for the poor and widows by commanding the land owners to leave behind the harvest some grain for the poor to gather. It “just so happened” that she gathered in Boaz’s field.

Taking Notice

Unbeknownst to Ruth, Boaz is a relative of Naomi, a Kinsman Redeemer, and he takes notice of Ruth. Now, Boaz takes “notice” of Ruth. You know, wink wink, he noticed her. The type of notice when you walk into the room and you see him or her for the first time and your like, “wow!”

Boaz, asked his helpers who Ruth was and then went over immediately and began to talk with her. Boaz told her that she should only glean in his fields and he will protect her and provide for her.

Now this doesn’t make any sense culturally. The land owner shows grace and mercy to a foreign widow. But romance doesn’t always make sense. His attraction provoked him to action.

“Why have you shown me such kindness?” Ruth asks. Boaz’ reply shows us so much about his attraction for her. “The way you have cared for your mother-in-law and moved away from your family, may the Lord repay you for what you have done, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge.”

Physical Attraction

When it comes to dating and romance, physical attraction is important, but it is not everything. In this story, Boaz noticed Ruth’s beauty which provoked him to ask questions about her and observer her character, but her physical beauty was not the main reason he pursued her. Physical beauty if fleeting and deceiving. Don’t get caught up in what society, media and Hollywood tells you is beautiful. The magazine images that are portrayed are unrealistic and photo shopped. It may be an initial spark, but make sure you follow Boaz’s example and begin to ask questions to see if your attraction is tied to someone of character.

Character Attraction

Boaz response tells Ruth that he has heard and seen what she is willing to do for her mother-in-law. Most people would have gone back to their families: Ruth did not. Not only did Ruth come with Naomi, but she is providing and caring for her. This showed her character as a woman with a servant’s heart. She wasn’t entitled or snobbish, but loving and caring.

Spiritual Attraction

But beyond that, Boaz took notice of her faith. “Under whose wings you have sought refuge,” is what he pointed out. He saw a woman who turned away from her past life, from the gods of her family and her land, and has embraced the one true God. Her faith was attractive!

For a believer in Jesus Christ, there should be nothing more attractive then the evidence of faith in Jesus in another person. You should not allow yourself to get attached or pursue someone who is not pursuing Jesus.

Waiting On God

We began with Ruth and Naomi in a pretty bad place and everything seemingly against them. It could have been easy for them to give up and think that God was against them. Yet Ruth was faithful and continued to develop her faith and character by trusting God for her future.

When Ruth came back from the field and told Naomi that she was gleaning in Boaz’s field, Naomi rejoiced! This was more then a coincidence, but God’s providence. For the first time in a long time, Naomi experienced a glimmer of hope. Naomi new Boaz was family and a potential Kinsman Redeemer and encourages Ruth to go back to his fields.

The chapter ends without developing anything more then an attraction between Ruth and Boaz. We see Boaz observed Ruth’s character and he made provision for her, but months have gone by and nothing else is happening.

Girls, guys can be dumb sometimes. But be patient. We aren’t at the end of the story yet and there is some great things coming, but there is a lot of good to learn from this.

Being attracted to someone does not mean you should jump into a relationship. Getting good answers to your questions does not mean you should jump into a relationship. Even when everything seems right on paper doesn’t mean you should begin a relationship. Wait on God on His time. Be obedient in the small things and do not allow your present circumstance to cause you to give up on your faith. Know that God is working.

I like learning from Boaz. He found a girl he was attracted to, found out she was a godly woman of good character, and he gave space to observe her life to see if she was sincere. In a day and age where we have so much of us on the internet, it’s hard to determine what is real or not. We live in a “your way right away” “microwave” culture. We want everything right now. Relationships are not something to just jump into, but something that needs time to develop properly.

So far, Ruth’s story shows us that life doesn’t always go the way we think it will. Life can be hard, relationships can be disappointing, but we should never give up. Ruth is a woman of character and faith. She abandon’s her former life, not allowing the sins of the past to define her future, and she trusts in God. Her faith in God causes her to live a life of faith that is evident to those around her. God is working through the pain and the difficulties to bring her to a place to meet Boaz, God’s provision for her.

God’s call on your life is to be faithful. Trust Him in all things and especially in relationships. He is a relational God who loves you and desires your best. Don’t rush into things, but prayerfully wait on Him and observe those around you. He will provide for all your needs according to His riches in glory!