Courage - boundaries in dating

What’s the most courageous thing you have ever done? Jump out of a plane, snowboarding, dirt bike riding, or something else? Have you stopped to consider how fortunate we are to live in a country and time when we have to seek out things to demonstrate courage? On average, we do not have battles coming to our doorstep, bad people kicking in our doors or oppressive regimes enslaving us.

In our freedom we seek out thrill rides and entertainment. Yet we often miss what courage really is. Courage is not doing something stupid or trying to get a thrill. Courage is action in the face of fears. Not the absence of fears, but a willingness to do the right thing in face of the fears.

An opportunity for courage really does face you every day; you just may not realize it. As a believer in Jesus, everyday you make choices to either stand on the truth or to compromise. Oh the line seems so subtle at times or we rationalize it away, but non the less, the line is there. Courage is standing for the truth no matter what. It’s facing the fear of potential loneliness, rejection or ridicule.

In comparison to our brothers and sisters around the world, the persecution we may face is nothing. However, the fears are legitimate and scary. But a good soldier of Jesus Christ must have the courage to stand strong.

This is what Paul was reminding Timothy about in 2 Timothy chapter 2.  He begins by telling Timothy to take the things that he has learned from Paul and teach others. I believe there are two principles here that lead to courage. The first is to follow the example and the second is to build a team.

Timothy is not in this alone, Paul has gone before him and set an example for him to follow. What better way to have courage to do something when someone has gone before you and showed you the way. In another passage (1 Corinthians 11:1) Paul says “imitate me as I imitate Christ.” Paul had counted the cost, faced his fears and stood for the truth. Timothy was well aware of this and Paul was telling him to take courage and follow.

With the reminder to follow Paul, comes the next step of being the example to others. Teaching and showing them how to follow Christ. We will discuss this more in the fourth study. For now I think it is important to build a team. The type of friends we have, the person we choose to date, those who are closest to us will influence us the most. If you want to take a stand for the truth, for purity then you need to surround yourself with a team who is on the same page. But what are we seeking to encourage each other in?

Presenting Yourself To God

One of the most exciting times in High School can often be the homecoming or prom season. It’s that time that boys get nervous about asking girls, girls get nervous about what boy is going to ask them or the fear of not going. Then there is the suits, tuxes and dresses. It’s an evening of flowers, dinners and dances. Sometimes it’s a first date, other times it the beginning of a new relationship, or it’s the first and last date. Everyone gets caught up in the romance of the ball.

I think for me the most amazing part of the night was picking up my date. Being scared to death to meet her parents, sitting in the living room with everyone’s eyes on you while you all wait for the young lady to descend the stairs. Afraid that her dad is going to give you the death look or that you will mess up on answering his questions. But then that moment would finally come when she would come down the steps and present herself to everyone. To see her in her beautiful dress, all made up for an evening with me was a special time. The family all oohing and ah-ing over her, echoed my very thoughts.

Very much like this, we should consider how we need to present ourselves to God. All that work and effort for one evening in High School lasts for a moment, but courageously obeying God lasts for eternity. We are not to be haphazard in our approach to God, but are to do our best to present ourselves to Him. In order to do that, we should be prepared and we should pursue Him. We can do this best in our dating and relationships by setting up boundaries.

Boundaries

Paul tells Timothy to “flee youth passions…” In reading this, my mind goes back to Genesis 39 when Joseph ran from Potiphar’s wife. Joseph didn’t try to be strong and negotiate, he ran when temptation presented itself. How did he do this? He was ready far before the situation arose.

In the moment is not the time to try and decide what is a good boundary and what is not. Let’s be honest with each other, you desire sex and physical activity. To deny that truth is foolish. The question is do you want to fulfill your sexual desires more or less then you desire to honor God. See God has given us one avenue for purity in sexuality and that is marriage. So you need to evaluate what you want to pursue, God or sex.

If you know that you have these desires then you can begin to create boundaries that will help you avoid being caught up in a moment. Paul tells Timothy to flee youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace out of a pure heart. Why? Because the enemy’s tactics are enslaving and dangerous. Again, Jesus came to give life but the enemy seeks to kill, steal and destroy (John 10:10).

Take a moment and list out your boundaries? Or have you never thought of them? This goes back to presenting ourselves before God takes intentional planning. God commands us to “be holy as I am holy!” Setting up boundaries helps us to remain holy. The boundary itself does not make you holy, but personal boundaries reveal what is important to you.

Think of it like a castle’s walls. It’s the line of defense for the most valuable items in the city. The stronger the walls the better the defense. If the walls are absent or crumbling then the raiders can come in and plunder the city easily. If the walls are strong and powerful then they will withstand an assault.

Again, I called this series the Dating Wars because too often the enemy will use good people to destroy you. Don’t give into the enemy’s tactics. Build a strong walls or boundaries and seek to present yourself holy and blameless before God.

Be courageous, be willing to stand for Jesus and seek purity. Do not compromise. Remember to follow the example of those who have come before, build a team of others who will stand strong, do your best to present yourself to God and set strong boundaries of righteousness.