Trading Guilt For Grace

How do you respond to this question? “Hey how are you doing?”

My typical response, like most people I encounter too, is “I’m fine” or “I’m good.”

But are we fine? Are we good? Most of the time that isn’t true, we just hide behind our smile and think, “if they only really knew what was going on!”

We hate to admit weakness, or struggles or sins. Some of us live under a burden of guilt and shame, fearing that if the people we know and love knew the truth they would abandon us. What do we do with guilt and shame? Often we ignore it, thinking that it will just disappear. But instead of getting smaller, it can become its own monster.

Many psychological views today diminish the importance of guilt. Guilt is considered as a mistaken emotion based on improper thinking and the best way to get rid of it is to ignore it. However, the more we ignore it the more we are in danger of two possible outcomes: a searing of our conscious where we no longer feel guilty or being crippled by guilt as it takes over our life.

Guilt is real. Not dealing with it properly can affect our emotions. If we have true guilt that we ignore, we can stop listening to the Holy Spirit, stop learning from the Word of God, and we will continue down a road of sin and shame.

Or it can cause us to feel so unlovable, or unforgiveable that we pull away from God, His Church and avoid other believers. We think we are too far gone and nobody will accept us the way we are.

It is important that when we feel guilt we learn to access the reason why and deal with it properly. Guilt to the spirit is like pain is to the body. When the body hurts, it is telling you something is wrong. Imagine you have a skin sore that is ugly to look at and it is beginning to hurt. You can put a Band-Aid on it, but that just covers it up. That sore can fester and become infected. However, if you identify the problem and apply the proper care, the sore will heal.

It is the same with guilt. If you ignore it, it will fester. However, identify the source of the guilt and applying proper care, you will find freedom and healing from it.

Guilt Trips

Now when I am talking about guilt, I am not talking about the emotional response you get when someone plays a guilt trip on you. However, we should talk about that. Some people use guilt trips as a way to motivate others to do what they want. Guilt is not a good motivator. Yes, you may achieve the results you desired, but you have abused power and therefor brought damage on your relationship. You may not see or understand the damage, but it is there.

Employing false guilt through guilt trip may produce the result, but they not only employ guilt, but a strong resentment begins to build. Psychology Today says guilt trips are “a clear form of psychological manipulation and coercion.” Nobody likes to be manipulated or coerced, and when they are, they pull away emotionally.

True Guilt

The guilt I am talking about is the emotion that lets you know something is wrong, or that you did something wrong. There are certainly times when we overthink things, or have a poor perspective that leads to false senses of guilt. Yet the majority of time our guilt is linked to our sin.

King David did not respond to his guilt properly, but ignored it for some time. We all know the story of David and Bathsheba. David suppressed his guilty conscious and it propelled him to go further and further into sin. He was lazy. He then lusted. He then acted on his lust. He then tried to cover up his sin. He then had a man murdered.

It wasn’t until Nathan, a prophet of God, called David out that David realized his sin. He was now able to assess the problem properly, address the sin and confess it to God. David found forgiveness and his relationship with God was restored, however there were consequences to his sin.

Confessing sin doesn’t mean we escape the earthly consequences. Forgiveness means that God will not hold the sin against us, but sin creates a ripple effect that leaves its mark in its wake. Uriah died. David’s newborn baby died. David’s family troubles followed him until the end of his days. Sin has consequences.

That is why it is important to allow the guilt in your life to draw you to your knees and seek forgiveness. God promises in His Word that He will forgive you and cleanse you (1 John 1:9). Psalm 51 has David’s acknowledgment of sin, His confession to God and His desire to serve God as he is forgiven.

False Guilt

Now I have mentioned false guilt on a couple of occasions and it can be tricky to understand what is true guilt, a guilt that is from God, and a false guilt that is self-inflicted or from the Enemy.

Guilt that is a result of the Holy Spirit bringing conviction in our life is identified as being from God in that it brings us to an awareness of our sin and how that has separated us from God. It is not a condemning guilt, but a sense that we need to confess and draw close to our Father. True guilt is a guilt that draws us to God.

False guilt, on the other hand, pushes us from the Father. When you feel condemned, worthless and unlovable, that is false guilt. When you are plagued by guilt after confessing sin to the Father, you are experiencing false guilt.

Exchanging Guilt For Grace

God did not send His Son into the world to die for our sins and then cause us to live in the shackles of guilt and shame. No, He demonstrated His love for you to draw you into a grace-filled relationship, one of freedom not condemnation.

When you sense guilt, what are you going to do about it? Ask yourself what is the source of your guilt, is it true guilt or false guilt? Confess it to God and live in confidence knowing that Jesus paid for your sins and welcomes you with open arms.

When you find freedom in Christ and are released from guilt you will be free to praise God! Listen to what David said as he found forgiveness:

“O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise.” – Psalm 51:15