When Bad News is Good

 

Communicating the message of Christ is more then just listing off some Bible passages and saying “God loves you!” Really so many Christians think telling someone “God loves you” is a way of evangelizing the world. They think that “love” is enough and that “love will always win.” Yet their expression of “love” is empty, meaningless and shallow.

It’s like we think we are in some kind of game and we need to play nice. We don’t want to offend anyone least they won’t pick us to be on their team. We have deluded ourselves with an idea that we are still on the playground on recess. Although the signs of something much greater are all around, we think people are too fragile to handle the truth. We close our eyes and ears to the indicators around us that eternity is on the line.

In particular I believe the American church has been lulled to a sleepy apathy due to the prevalence of earthly pleasures. We feel so self-sufficient and our need for God seems so distant. Instead of fighting a spiritual battle daily, we Google search for our answers and PayPal to some humanitarian group to appease our guilt. We would rather talk about the latest movie, the weather or some Miley Cyrus rumor then broach the topic of the scandalous grace of Jesus Christ.

The Bad News (Romans 3:10, 23; 5:12)

If I have thoroughly ticked you off so far, then good. If I haven’t, keep reading. Have you ever been to your doctor, or a financial adviser who said, “I’ve got good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?” Which would you choose? I for one always go with the bad news first so I can walk out with the good news. However, the fear is that the bad news is so bad that even the good news isn’t good.

At first blush, the bad news I’m about to say is that bad. It’s really bad. So bad that there isn’t anything you or I can do about it. We can’t escape it. It’s tied into the human condition; no it is the human condition. In one word, it is depravity. The bad news is that you and I are sinners. We like to pretend we are on some playground and avoid reality because we are all in the same sinking boat. Sin is the reality that we fall short of the holiness of God. Depravity means that we are so sinful that we cannot do anything about our sin. It’s like trying to clean yourself with muddy hands, your just not going to get clean.

The bad news is we are broken and we can’t fix ourselves. When we go to communicate the message of God, we have to remind ourselves, and those we are sharing with, that we are broken because of sin. We need a Hero, a Savior to put us together again. We cannot do it on our own.

Pushing Blame (Romans 1:20)

You may disagree with me that you are broken, or you are coming up with excuses for the sin that you have done. “If you grew up in my house with my situation you would do the same things!” “It’s my dad’s fault!” “My friends made me do it!” And the list goes on. We like to blame others for our sinfulness. James tells us that we sin because our hearts are sinful. We all blame others, but none of us are blameless. Part of the bad news is that, even when you push blame, the Bible says that “no one is without excuse!” We will all give an account one day to the One who knows and no excuses will work.

The Good News (Romans 5:19; 2 Corinthians 5:21)

Now is where it gets fun. Nobody likes to talk about the bad news. The Good News is that there is a Hero who has come to save the day. There is One who can fix our brokenness and forgive our sins. His name is Jesus Christ. And yes, Jesus loves you!

Earlier I mentioned that we think saying, “God loves you” is enough. It is a truthful statement, but 90% of the Word Religions will agree with that statement. It’s not enough to just say that, but it is a start. What the world needs to hear begins with what they already know: they are broken. And then what they don’t know: Jesus came to die for them.

We are sinners because we all disobeyed in Adam. We have hope because of the obedience of Jesus Christ (Romans 5:19). Jesus lived a perfect life and made the ultimate sacrifice for you and me. His resurrection shows that His sacrifice was accepted. If and when you trust Jesus as your Savior, God gives you His righteousness.

It’s like you have a really dirty shirt on and you only have dirty water to clean it in. Jesus comes and takes your dirty shirt and puts His own perfectly clean shirt on you. In reality, He comes and takes your sinfulness away and puts on His righteousness.

Go and Tell (Matthew 28:18-20)

Sometimes bad news is the way to make the good news seem all the better. It’s like going to the doctor to find out you are sick and there is a medicine that will cure it. Don’t settle for playing nice, tell the truth in love. Show people their need for a Savior and that Jesus is that Savior. “The only way to save the world is to tell the Story, the Gospel is that Story!”

Vacationing from God

Summer Break!

As a high school student I could not wait for summer break! I hate to admit it, but I began to get the itch for summer break by mid October. What is not to like about summer break? Sleeping in, no schedule, vacation, freedom, BBQ, church camp, missions trip, late night bonfires, etc.

Vacationing from the normal schedule and school is fine, but taking a vacation from God is not. However, too often we get out of our normal routine and the first thing to go is our time with God. Some like to refer to it as a daily Quiet Time, daily Devotions, or RE:Charge as I am trying to call it. Why is it that this discipline is often to the most overlooked and easiest to drop?

One obvious answer is our sinful nature gets in the way. How many times do we begin to make plans and have our own agenda for it? We actually plan it all out without really including God in it, because we want to control our plans and think we want the outcome. I praise God for His gift of the Holy Spirit who always brought me back into check before I could really make a fool of myself.

I’m thinking of the time I went to East Harbor State Park for a camping trip with my family. I grew up in church, Good News Clubs, youth group and Christian schools. I had about a bazillion Christian event t-shirts (still do! Ha), and I distinctly remember not wanting to pack them for this trip. I was finally old enough to hop on my bike and go down to where all the teenagers hangout by myself and just be “Brad.” Actually I wanted to be “Bad Brad!” I wanted to be on vacation from God and do my on thing, to rebel with the crowd and do whatever. However, I have never been real good at lying. And anytime I found myself in a situation like this, someone would ask a question that opened the door for my faith to enter the story. Once my faith was out in the open I knew I had to live a testimony. For some reason I just couldn’t lie and pretend. Like I said, I thank God for His Holy Spirit that helped keep me from doing the foolish things I thought I wanted to do.

I know too well the temptation to go on “vacation from God.” We always justify it and say we will get back to it when we get home. However, it’s has a snowball effect. You skip one day, then the next and then the next. The next thing you know you haven’t picked up your Bible all summer except to carry it to church. This is not a healthy pattern for a Christian.

Spiritual Nourishment

Here in America, most of us eat pretty regularly. Due to technology, cars and sedentary lifestyles of most Americans we develop an attitude of “eating for pleasure” rather then an “eat out of necessity” attitude. Yet when we begin to train physically for something or we look at athletes and soldiers we see how important the proper nutrition is. Yet we all eat.

Only two types of people don’t eat. Can you name them? Sick people and dead people don’t eat. Dead people don’t eat because they are dead. I know that was redundant. Sick people, whether it is physical, emotional or psychological, may go through seasons where they don’t eat. In physical sickness, the body might turn off cravings and appetites as it try’s to heal other areas, but loss of appetite typically is an indicator that something is wrong. Emotional and psychological sicknesses that lead to one not eating means that their view of food or themselves is out of whack. When your not eating, you should be aware that something is wrong.

Spiritually speaking, we need a regular and proper feasting on God’s Word to maintain a healthy growing Christian life. If we are not going to the banquet table of God’s Word on a regular basis then it indicates one of two things: we are spiritually sick or spiritually dead.

Unconfessed sin in a believers life will rob them of the joy and desire to read God’s Word. You begin to think about yourself and the Word of God wrongly. Your spiritual mind is out of whack and in need of realignment.

Maybe you’ve grown up in a Christian home and in church but you have no desire for God’s Word. You may not even be a Christian. You should begin to ask yourself the basic questions to determine if you have truly trusted in Jesus Christ or have you been trusting your family tradition?

Either way, if you are spiritually sick you need to run to Jesus for healing and forgiveness. If you are spiritually dead, you need to run to Jesus for a spiritual quickening, to be made spiritually alive.

RE:Charge

Look for a few moments each day to get away from the business of life to listen to and talk to Jesus. Don’t get stuck in the rut that there is only one way to do a quiet time. Don’t think about your devotions out of guilt, like you may not do it right or you might disappoint God. The idea is to go to Jesus to recharge you, to encourage you to inspire you. You want to spend time with Jesus.

Think about the times you hangout with your best friend. Do you always do the same thing together? How many of you would still have a best friend if every time you saw them you said the exact same phrases, half-heartedly read an old letter, shared a few thoughts and said goodbye without any variation? That sounds boring!!

With my best friend I sometimes go golfing, hiking, eating, grabbing a cup of coffee, or just being silly. We talk about everything! Nothing is off limits. Sometimes we are just together, no verbal communication needed, just knowing we are there for each other is enough. Other times we talk real serious like and pray together. It’s organic, alive and fun.

I want you to think about that this summer when you have extra free time and an open schedule. Spend time with Jesus the way you do with a best friend. Listen to Him, talk to Him, just hangout with Him. Grab your Bible and go for a hike. Do your favorite activity and talk to Him about it. Tell Him everything. Try forgetting form prayers and just chat with Him.

Don’t take a vacation from God. Vacation with God and get recharged!

Welcome to LOFT

Tonight we are welcoming up the graduating 6^th graders to youth group! I am excited for them to begin to participate in our youth ministry and activities. Tonight’s lesson is really just about who we are as a youth group, what we are all about and what they can expect over the next 6 years of youth group.

What is the Bible? (2 Peter 1:12-21; 2 Timothy 3:16-17)

This may seem like a simple and basic question, but it is one of the most important questions to ask. The answer to this is of ultimate importance and carries eternal consequences. For within the pages of Holy Scripture is the story of God, His revelation to man, His incarnation and redemption. If this Book is not what it claims to be then we are hopeless.

The Bible is a book like no other book. Actually it is not just a book, but a library of books. It is 66 books (39 Old Testament and 27 New Testament) written by over 40 different authors (most of whom never met each other) on 3 continents in 3 different languages over a period of 1500. It speaks to many different topics, yet is in harmony with it’s message and all points to Jesus Christ.

What is It’s Message?

The Bible tells us how God created the world in 6 days. How He created man in His image, with meaning, purpose and value. He created man to be in a relationship with Him, but mankind rebelled against God and brought sin and death into the world. Sin makes us enemies of God and deserving punishment, but God loved us so much that while we were actively sinning against Him, Jesus died for us (Romans 3:23; 5:8). By covering the great cost of our sin, Jesus us offered us new life by following Him. Everyone who trusts in Jesus alone has eternal life that starts now and lasts forever!

What is our response? (Matthew 22:37-40; Matthew 28:18-20)

When Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was, His response was to love God with everything you are and to love your neighbor as yourself. He said that these are the summary of the Law and the Prophets. That’s a big claim! All the Old Testament can be summarized in this, loving God and caring for others.

Love God

Loft exists to help teenagers connect to Jesus Christ. This is a place will you will hear of the greatness and goodness of God and his love and kindness toward us. We are told that “we love because He first loved us.” If we are to love God we have to know that we are loved by God. We gather to worship God through songs, teachings and small groups. You will learn more about God and why He is worthy of our love and praise here.

Care for His People

Loft exists to help teenagers connect to Jesus Christ and His Church. Jesus did not save you to isolation, but to a community. Jesus said that the world will know we are His disciples by our love for each other. Loft strives to be a group that takes care of each other. You will meet new friends here that will last a lifetime. Our friendship is centered on the cross of Christ and therefore provides a judgment free zone where you feel like you belong.

Communicate His Message

Loft exists to help teenagers connect to Jesus Christ and His Church and to share the Good News with the World. When Jesus saved you, He called you to a mission. In Loft we will challenge you weekly in the Gospel and help you develop the knowledge and skill to share this message with your friends, family and the world. We have local service projects, local missions trips, conferences and even international trips to share the Good News of Jesus to the world. Even as Paul told Philemon “I pray that the sharing of your faith maybe effective in order that you might now the fullness of the goodness we have in Christ Jesus!’

Living Our Faith Together

Just a few years ago we named our youth group Loft and Abby Reichenbach suggested we use the phrase “Living our faith together.” Since that time it has stuck. Loft is a place to come together to learn these truths, to be encouraged by other people your own age who are living it out. We cannot survive on our own. We need each other. The joy I have found in Loft is seeing you become a group that loves Jesus and loves each other. I am so excited to welcome you into this group!

Summer & Sabbath

This week I will not be teaching, but Petar is substituting for me. He handed me his notes for the lesson and I wanted to share some of my thoughts with you. I really like his lesson because it is something I need reminded of often and I bet you do too.

Rest is what we need

Jesus calls us to come to him if we are tired and weary and He will give us rest. Part of the curse of sin means we are in a daily struggle with work. We are only human, which means we are flesh and blood. We are prone to weakness, to sickness, to exhaustion. We often times try to deny our physical limitations and we push push push. Then we get cranky, mean, angry or sick. We wonder why, but it simple. We have forgotten rest.

In the order of creation, God wired us for a sabbath’s day rest. He created the world in 6 days and took the 7^th day as rest. We too desperately need to rest. A weekly rest helps us realize that God is the one who is in control and not us. When I was in college an RA said a phrase that helped me when it comes to thinking about a Sabbath days rest. “A Sabbath helps you realize that the grass will grow, the sun will rise, life will go on with out your assistance.” God is God and I am not. Rest helps me remember my place.

Rest is what we offer

If you avoid rest, sleep and caring for yourself, it will manifest in your attitude and actions. If you become exhausted you will have a short fuse, a cranky attitude or just get sick. Rest is good for your health and affects how you interact with others.

When we understand the importance of rest, we become agents of rest. We begin to become like Christ and care for the needs of others. We help them find rest in this weary world.

Helping the homeless on Sunday has been a way that I’ve seen many of our teens bring rest to a troubled soul. These homeless men and women tell me each week how much they look forward to seeing our group and how uplifted they are by simple acts of kindness. Just providing a moment to look forward to each week is enough for some of these guys to keep going. Being an agent of rest is being Christ like.

This summer, don’t allow your activities to get you so busy that you fail to stop and consider that God is who He says He is and He will do what He promises to do. He has prescribed rest and He is your rest. May you find time each day and week to rest in Christ.

Rebels for God

Tonight we bring to a conclusion our Rebel series. We’ve been looking at the lies of our culture and bringing the light of Scripture counter these lies. Way back in the Garden of Eden, God said that “it is not good for man to be alone” and therefore made Adam a helpmeet, a companion, in Eve. An essential part of what makes us human, created in the image of God is relationship. The desire to know and be known is at our very core of our identity. It is at this very core that the enemy of our souls, Satan and his forces, attack us. Our culture has been ravaged by his wicked plans to distort the beauty of sex and meaningful relationships in healthy marriages by creating sexual immorality and promiscuity at the norm.

It is only when we can step back from our music, media, social media and current situation and peer long at the Bible that we can begin to bring things into focus. As the Truth of Scripture begins to pour into our lives we quickly begin to see the sea of people around us as lemmings running blindly at the cliffs ahead. Only when we stop following the crowd, rebel against the norm and stand up for the truth will we see real change in our relationships.

Though tonight is our last lesson in this series, after 6 weeks studying this, I still feel like there is so much to say. Why? Because we are all sinners and because we are sinners our relationships are broken. We quickly turn to relationships to fix us, but then we cause more pain and harm then before. Relationships without Christ at the center will only leave us emptier then before.

Just a few thoughts for tonight and then question and answer time:

1.     Run (1 Corinthians 6:18-20)

In this past year I have picked up the sport of running. I’ve actually begun to love it and now that I am nursing an injury, I miss it. Never thought that would happen. I used to make up jokes about running, like miss quoting the Proverb “only the wicked run when nobody is chasing him.” Or looking for the 0.0 sticker for my car. But now I value running.

The real truth is that we have an enemy chasing us with one of the most dangerous and destructive weapons we may ever encounter. It’s so dangerous because it is attractive. Satan is chasing us with the allure of sexual immorality. Sexual immorality is a broad sweeping word to describe any and all sexual interactions outside of the covenant of marriage. It’s a weapon that involves all of our emotions and fears. Yet we have to remember it is a loaded weapon that he is using to destroy our souls.

Paul is telling the Corinthians to strap on their running shoes and gear up for a marathon and run from this enemy. It is a sin like no other sin, where you sin against your own body. Therefore run!

In my preparations for the half marathon last year, what helped me run was to focus on the goal. My goal was to finish a half marathon, and I did. When people use to question why I haven’t had sex yet, I used to answer “because I love my future wife so much I want to save myself for her.” That’s a good answer, because I had a goal. Yet it was not the best answer. Today I would answer it “because Jesus loved me so much to die for me, I want to obey Him and bring glory to His name.” In obeying and loving Jesus I still am keeping my previous goal, to love my future wife and save myself for her, however she is not my god, Jesus is.

2.     Control (1 Thessalonians 4:3-8)

How many times have you ever said you want to know God’s will for your life? I’ve found myself saying, “if God could just give me the blueprint for my life that would be great!” However, when I think back to my high school paper in which I had to answer, “where am I going to be in 10 years,” nothing on that paper came true. Yet I don’t regret that at all, because God is doing something in my life that I wouldn’t have understood then.

Yet in the Scriptures, God has given us a few places will it actually says, “this is God’s will for you!” I’m warning you, this is dangerous because now you will know specifically what God wants you to do. God’s will for you is sanctification, specifically that you avoid sexual immorality. Sanctification is to be set apart. When we accept Christ as our Lord and Savior, He sets us a part for His service, and that means that we are to avoid sex before marriage.

Back to running, a runner needs to control several things in her life if she wants to succeed, right? Among those is sleep, diet and training. When I run I can feel the food I ate. It will either give me energy or make me feel sluggish.

As a believer we need to learn how to control our body in holiness and honor. That we respect others and our own body because God has made it and gave it to us to steward. Impurity in any form makes running harder. However, developing an holy life cause running to get easier and easier and you begin to enjoy it more and more.

3.     Choose (1 Corinthians 15:33-34)

As I began to take on the running lifestyle, many of my friends responded differently. I’m so thankful for the ones who turned into encouraging partners. They were the ones who fought their own demons and were running or exercising already, they were further down the road and coached me. Others began to chide me, teasing me and making fun of me. These were the nay sayers, the ones who said I was working too hard. I had to choose who I was going to listen to and I began gravitating to the ones who encouraged me, who were like-minded and helped me pursue my goal. The end result was success on so many levels.

Who we choose to hangout with will affect us. If you are a Christian and you have developed good morals, don’t think you can stand on your own. Hanging out with others who don’t value God’s Word and His commands will ultimately lead you down the road of disobedience. Gather to yourself those who are running the race too, who will encourage you and you will find those who will keep you on the right path.

We’ve already talked about it, but only date believers in Jesus. Surround your dating relationship with strong believers and couples who are more spiritually mature then you. Find Christian couples who have learned how to navigate the trails in holiness and purity. Let them speak into your life and relationships.

Even in your friendships you need to be careful who you hangout with. Listen to yourself and hear if you start compromising to fit in with the crowd. If so, you need to change things up. Keep your eyes on Christ and stop fall into sin. Others are watching you and your sin maybe the reason they haven’t trusted Christ yet.

We are on mission. We are rebels who can no longer afford to follow the pattern of this world. We need to go against the flow and others will see Christ in us and glorify Him.

Slit Sessions 2

This week in our Rebel series, the guys and girls are once again split. This time the lady leaders will be talking to the guys and the guy leaders will be talking to the girls. 

Here is a few thoughts I will be sharing with the girls:

Truly Beautiful

When I look across the landscape of teen culture today I am saddened by what it has become. I see teens desperate for attention, for meaning and self-worth. With the increase of technology, information and social-media you would have thought that correct thinking about oneself and her meaning would rise to the top. However, it is as if the exact opposite takes place.

You do not need to spend much time on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram to see the neediness of teenage girls. The constant bombardment of beauty products, fashion magazines and air brush photos challenges girls to become something they are not.

The Problem of Selfies

My newsfeed is full of the latest selfies, from guys too, every day. Can I just say that I don’t like selfies? I’m not talking about the occasional new shot to update your profile pic, but I am talking about the constant self photo in different poses. I think the one I hate the most is the picture taken in the mirror that the phone is blocking her face and only reveals her “cute and sexy” outfit. This breaks my heart because it shows me how much the sexual objectification has seeped into the average teenage girls mind. Or the shot that is taken from above that is tilted at an angle that looks down her shirt. Or the one that is trying to show off her butt to look “sexy.”

There are times that I am embarrassed at the photos I see and have to quickly go past it or hide it all together from my feed. Every once in a while I will see one and notice there are a lot of comments left on the picture and so I click on the comment section. And just as I suspected, typically there is a bunch of her girl friends commenting on how “beautiful” or “pretty” or “gorgeous” she is, but then there is the guys who say “so hot!” or “D@$# GIRL” or “super sexy,” etc. Her response is often just a shy little “thanks” but she has been feasting on the superficial affirmations of the peanut gallery.

Then my heart breaks for the girl who is trying so hard to keep up with the other “pretty” girls and posts something similar only to get no responses or the overly brutal responses from some ignorant jerk causing her to further be confronted with self-esteem issues. This leads to later updates talking about her desire to die.

In one of the many nuanced plots of the “God’s Not Dead” movie just released, we see a very attractive Christian woman who has compromised her faith to be in a relationship with the atheist professor. As she is seeking counsel from the pastor, he reveals to her that she has essentially made a god out of this professor and wanted and was willing to compromise for his affirmation. Her felt need of meaning was being temporarily filled by this professors praise, but it never satisfied and only left her empty. That’s when the pastor asked her “knowing Christ loved you so much He was willing to die for you, what more do you need?”

A Sidebar about Boys

Can I just say a word to you girls about boys? I know you want a man who will love Jesus and will love you for who you are. These guys are trying, but guys are different then girls. Guys are extremely visual and that is very tough in our society. Porn is a big issue today and our guys are fighting that everyday. It’s an exhausting fight. And I want you to consider helping your brothers become men who protect their eyes. Some of the pictures you post on social media are not helpful. These guys may try very hard to stay away from bad sites, but some of the selfies you post, or “cute” picture you post are triggers to them. What you wear makes a different. Don’t just think about what is cute, in style or comfortable, but ask “will this help or hinder the guys?”

Some of you may not realize the battle going on. Others know and use it to your advantage. God wants you to carry yourself in such a way that doesn’t cause these guys to stumble. Isn’t purity better then comfort? Ok, that’s all for now.

I look at the selfies and wonder, “what would Jesus like to tell this young girl?” So imagine with me for a second that Jesus has just seen your selfie and says something like:

A Selfie Conversation with Jesus

“Hey you! Yes you! Come here and lets talk, daughter. I want to tell you something that I think you need to hear. I see your picture here. I see you have spent some time putting yourself together, picking the right clothes, putting on your make up and finding the best lighting. Then you took some time to crop it and find the best filter on instagram to make you look the best. I see this picture has taken some time and has brought you much attention. But I don’t see you. No, I don’t see the real you. I see who you want others to see.

Yet when I look at you, the real you, I see so much more then what you present in this picture. You are so much more then this. I actually wrote down a few notes for you to know what I think and bound them up in a book so you would have a guide for this life. In the beginning, I created you in my image, my likeness (Genesis 1:27). I guess you could say that my intentions were for you to be my selfie. In creation, I spoke everything into existence, but when it came to humanity, I got down in the mud and made you with my hands (Genesis 2:7). You are my masterpiece, an expression of myself to this world (Ephesians 2:10). Even before you were born, I was forming you together, making you just the way you are (Psalm 139:13) and I do not make junk.

I find you precious and beautiful. I know your struggles, your sins and your desires. I know when you feel empty and ugly. I know how you have compromised to feel loved and beautiful. Even while you were pursuing the wrong things, I loved you and died for you (Romans 5:8). My love for you is unconditional and free. I want you to find your hope and purpose in my love. Open up my love letter and see how much I love you. Find your value in me. Don’t get caught up in the empty pursuits of physical beauty but seek true beauty in godliness (Proverbs 31:30). I have come to set you free (John 8:36). Live your life in such a way that you truly are a selfie of me, so that when the world sees you, they don’t see a reflection of the world but they see me (Matthew 5:16).”

Closing

I see it everyday. A cry for love and affection on social media. Maybe it’s a Facebook status update, a tweet or a selfie on Instagram, but there it is. A statement that says “hey look at me, I’m here, pay attention to me, love me, value me, etc.” No boy, no man, no person will ever bring you the answer to your crying heart except Jesus Christ.

Jesus wants to give you a life that is worth living, that is hope filled and joy filled. He doesn’t want you drinking from the broken cisterns of cheap social media affirmation, but He wants you to be satisfied on the living waters of His Word. You are beautiful. You are priceless. You are created in the Image of God and are the daughter of the One True King. Look to Jesus everyday to find your self worth, you will never be disappointed in Him.

(Added later: Wish I would have found this earlier, but here is a link to a book review of the book True Beauty.)

Here are some thoughts Kristin and the girl leaders will be sharing with the guys:

Boys! You have a bad reputation! Not a reputation you necessarily earned, but one given to you because you are a…boy. Listen to what girls have been told about men:

·      Guys only want one thing so they cannot be trusted

·      Guys are stupid and don’t care

·      Guys are too arrogant and won’t even stop to ask for directions

·      Guys are aggressive and abusive

·      Guys never grow up, they just want to play video games and have fun.

This reputation has been around since long before you were born. It is a really unfortunate stereotype that has led to all kinds of problems. One of the biggest problems with stereotypes is they become self-fulfilling prophecies. Yet, the stereotypes come from somewhere… They come from:

·      Men who idolized one thing over God and the way HE intends relationships, and became overcome by it like a drug

·      Men who thought being the head of a household meant they knew everything and didn’t need to learn

·      Men who believed that their role was more important than other roles, and so should be served and obeyed

·      Men who misunderstood strength as violence

·      Men who never grew up

But, this is not how God created the world. It was not his plan and purpose. That is why Jesus had to come. Jesus is the REAL man, and he was the perfect role model, and he wants to enter your life and make you more like him each and every day! Women need men who love Jesus, to live as God created them to in order for women to live the way God created them to and vice versa.

Women need men to:

-Love Jesus more than anything else and seek him fully

-Learn the TRUTH and teach it… to have opinions and support causes

-Serve others: look for opportunities to be generous and lend a hand

-Be strong. Stand firm on the solid rock of Christ.

-Take responsibility. Provide for yourself, and one day for your family. Protect the girls around you by setting boundaries for yourself and them. Pray for your friends, your family, your future, your enemies, your fears… pray without stopping.

By trusting Jesus and pursuing Him with your whole life you can become a man of God that will develop healthy God-honoring relationships.

Split Session

This week in our dating series we are splitting up the girls and the guys. The lady leaders will be speaking specifically to the challenges and needs of the girls and the guys will be making grunting noises and punching each other…I mean the guy leaders will be challenging the guys.

The Girls: a note from Kristin Keiper about the girls lesson.

In The Bible God promises that if we love him more than everything else, he will fill us and fulfill us. Our lives won't be perfect but the will have purpose. That purpose is to glorify God by loving and serving others. 

We love God by loving the people He created. In every relationship, our nature, and the world we live in, tells us to do what is best for US, to take care of ourselves FIRST. God’s plan is that we purposefully put others first in every situation, and love them with the love described in 1 Corinthians 13. 

In every kind of relationship, this love looks different, but it is never self-focused. True love always puts the needs of others first. As girls we especially need to remember to love the men around us by having our hearts focused on being the women God created us to be. When we focus our attention on ourselves and fulfilling the desires we have for attention and love by reckless flirting or provocative clothing, we are not loving God or the people He created. When we become overwhelmed by our desires for relationships and believe that we are incomplete without a romantic relationship, we are not trusting in God or his perfect plan. We can do all things through Christ, and yet without His love in us, everything else we pursue is empty and worthless. 

The Guys

It’s a rare opportunity that I have all the guys together to be able to talk to them and teach them on guy issues. Where to start, you might ask? It’s a good question. Sometimes we need to talk about the basics, like what is a bar of soap and deodorant used for. Other times we talk about sports. But this week with these guys we are going to talk about Biblical manhood, building off of our lesson from a couple of weeks ago. How does the Gospel shape a man’s life?

Implicitly, the Gospel must be understood and received for a young man to be a godly man. He cannot live a Gospel centered life if he has not chosen to follow Jesus. Once he trusts Jesus with his life, everything changes, or should change (2 Corinthians 5:17). However, just because a young man is a Christ follower, doesn’t mean his life is easy and that temptations fall away.

If we consider a man appointed at birth to serve God, and yet temptations plagued him his entire life. A man that could have been a great godly leader is reduced into an anecdote that God can use the most despicable characters for His glory.

Consider Samson (Judges 14-16)

You may not like me calling a beloved Sunday School character a despicable man, but that is because we often soften the real stories for our Sunday School classrooms. We make the obliteration of almost the entire human race and world to be a cute mural on the nursery walls. We talk about the virtuous queen who saved her people from destruction, but forget the pagan “pageant” she had to win for her position. The point is, we like to remove the sin from the story so that we can honor the character. But what if we are missing the point. The story is not meant to glorify the character, but to glorify the God of the character. We see God's grace shine brightly when He still loves the sinful characters.

Samson was a man. He was a man of considerable physical strength, but of very low morals. Though he grew up in a believing home and had opportunity to be a very righteous man, he failed time and again because of low morals. Samson was called from birth to deliver the people of Israel from the oppression of the Philistines, which he did. However, he missed out on the opportunity to also lead his people into a closer walk with their God.

After the story of his miraculous birth, the first verse we read is about Samson wanting a woman that God’s Law forbade him to have (Judges 14:1-4). He disregards the counsel of his parents and demands his way. Which only led to a broken marriage and more problems for him.

After this failed relationship, we see Samson taking refuge with a prostitute in Gaza (Judges 16:1). And before the dust settles on the city gates, we see Samson shacking up with Delilah (Judges 16:4-5). Here we see Samson’s lustful desires for Philistine women to cloud all sensibilities. On several occasion she tries to find out Samson’s secret. When he lies about it, she tests him. Why he didn’t realize she was setting him up is beyond me, but he ultimately reveals the truth. She betrays him (Judges 16:20-21).

Ultimately, his desire for the forbidden women led to his death and destruction. However there is a ray of hope in verse 22, “the hair of his head began to grow again after it had been shaved.” Just because Samson had disobeyed God several times does not mean that God had given up on him. Even in his destruction, God used this sinful man to deliver the people of Israel.

Today’s Struggles

Our boys are growing up in an over sexualized, materialistic society. Sociologists say that boys are not leaving adolescence until their late 20’s. Adolescence is the desire for the privileges of adulthood without the responsibilities. 

As Samson struggled with his desire for women that led to his destruction, our boys are plagued with sexual temptation. When I was a teen, access to pornographic material was rare amongst my friends. It had to be purchased at the local store and the embarrassment factor of facing a real human kept most boys away. So most of my friends had never even seen it.

Today, pornography is a click away. My assumption is that every teen boy has seen pornography. If they have a computer, iPod, iPad, or smartphone of some sort, then there is a good chance they have already seen porn. It’s not even that they have had to go looking for it, because porn is looking for them. The hope is that they are not seeking it out, and that they are not involved in sexting (sending explicit sexual pictures or conversations over text message). But if they have, are they fighting it and seeking help?

Pornography is a trap that is destroying relationships, marriages and lives. It presents the lie that “nobody is getting hurt,” yet everyone touched by it is being hurt. It causes further objectification and dehumanization of females. It creates unrealistic expectations that can never be fulfilled. And with it’s private accessibility today, boys are able to view it without ever having to talk to a live human about it. It doesn't just stay casual, but begins to become an addiction. Some have likened it to a heroin addiction. 

Just like Samson, the lust for the forbidden woman becomes their downfall and will lead to destruction. The truth of the Gospel is, God hasn’t given up on our boys and will forgive and restore them. We need to be honest about the prevalence of this sin. We need to encourage our boys to fight against the culture and to make a covenant with their eyes not to lust (Job 31:1). Our guys need to know they are not alone in the fight and there is victory (1 Corinthians 10:13).

God’s desire is to give them abundant life, but that is only found in a life of obedience. Only in honoring God today, can we be confident of a fulfilled life tomorrow. Training our boys to become men who guard their hearts (Proverbs 4:23) and avoid the wayward woman (Proverbs 7). Hold on to the promise found in Psalm 37:4:

"Delight in The Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart."