Slit Sessions 2

This week in our Rebel series, the guys and girls are once again split. This time the lady leaders will be talking to the guys and the guy leaders will be talking to the girls. 

Here is a few thoughts I will be sharing with the girls:

Truly Beautiful

When I look across the landscape of teen culture today I am saddened by what it has become. I see teens desperate for attention, for meaning and self-worth. With the increase of technology, information and social-media you would have thought that correct thinking about oneself and her meaning would rise to the top. However, it is as if the exact opposite takes place.

You do not need to spend much time on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram to see the neediness of teenage girls. The constant bombardment of beauty products, fashion magazines and air brush photos challenges girls to become something they are not.

The Problem of Selfies

My newsfeed is full of the latest selfies, from guys too, every day. Can I just say that I don’t like selfies? I’m not talking about the occasional new shot to update your profile pic, but I am talking about the constant self photo in different poses. I think the one I hate the most is the picture taken in the mirror that the phone is blocking her face and only reveals her “cute and sexy” outfit. This breaks my heart because it shows me how much the sexual objectification has seeped into the average teenage girls mind. Or the shot that is taken from above that is tilted at an angle that looks down her shirt. Or the one that is trying to show off her butt to look “sexy.”

There are times that I am embarrassed at the photos I see and have to quickly go past it or hide it all together from my feed. Every once in a while I will see one and notice there are a lot of comments left on the picture and so I click on the comment section. And just as I suspected, typically there is a bunch of her girl friends commenting on how “beautiful” or “pretty” or “gorgeous” she is, but then there is the guys who say “so hot!” or “D@$# GIRL” or “super sexy,” etc. Her response is often just a shy little “thanks” but she has been feasting on the superficial affirmations of the peanut gallery.

Then my heart breaks for the girl who is trying so hard to keep up with the other “pretty” girls and posts something similar only to get no responses or the overly brutal responses from some ignorant jerk causing her to further be confronted with self-esteem issues. This leads to later updates talking about her desire to die.

In one of the many nuanced plots of the “God’s Not Dead” movie just released, we see a very attractive Christian woman who has compromised her faith to be in a relationship with the atheist professor. As she is seeking counsel from the pastor, he reveals to her that she has essentially made a god out of this professor and wanted and was willing to compromise for his affirmation. Her felt need of meaning was being temporarily filled by this professors praise, but it never satisfied and only left her empty. That’s when the pastor asked her “knowing Christ loved you so much He was willing to die for you, what more do you need?”

A Sidebar about Boys

Can I just say a word to you girls about boys? I know you want a man who will love Jesus and will love you for who you are. These guys are trying, but guys are different then girls. Guys are extremely visual and that is very tough in our society. Porn is a big issue today and our guys are fighting that everyday. It’s an exhausting fight. And I want you to consider helping your brothers become men who protect their eyes. Some of the pictures you post on social media are not helpful. These guys may try very hard to stay away from bad sites, but some of the selfies you post, or “cute” picture you post are triggers to them. What you wear makes a different. Don’t just think about what is cute, in style or comfortable, but ask “will this help or hinder the guys?”

Some of you may not realize the battle going on. Others know and use it to your advantage. God wants you to carry yourself in such a way that doesn’t cause these guys to stumble. Isn’t purity better then comfort? Ok, that’s all for now.

I look at the selfies and wonder, “what would Jesus like to tell this young girl?” So imagine with me for a second that Jesus has just seen your selfie and says something like:

A Selfie Conversation with Jesus

“Hey you! Yes you! Come here and lets talk, daughter. I want to tell you something that I think you need to hear. I see your picture here. I see you have spent some time putting yourself together, picking the right clothes, putting on your make up and finding the best lighting. Then you took some time to crop it and find the best filter on instagram to make you look the best. I see this picture has taken some time and has brought you much attention. But I don’t see you. No, I don’t see the real you. I see who you want others to see.

Yet when I look at you, the real you, I see so much more then what you present in this picture. You are so much more then this. I actually wrote down a few notes for you to know what I think and bound them up in a book so you would have a guide for this life. In the beginning, I created you in my image, my likeness (Genesis 1:27). I guess you could say that my intentions were for you to be my selfie. In creation, I spoke everything into existence, but when it came to humanity, I got down in the mud and made you with my hands (Genesis 2:7). You are my masterpiece, an expression of myself to this world (Ephesians 2:10). Even before you were born, I was forming you together, making you just the way you are (Psalm 139:13) and I do not make junk.

I find you precious and beautiful. I know your struggles, your sins and your desires. I know when you feel empty and ugly. I know how you have compromised to feel loved and beautiful. Even while you were pursuing the wrong things, I loved you and died for you (Romans 5:8). My love for you is unconditional and free. I want you to find your hope and purpose in my love. Open up my love letter and see how much I love you. Find your value in me. Don’t get caught up in the empty pursuits of physical beauty but seek true beauty in godliness (Proverbs 31:30). I have come to set you free (John 8:36). Live your life in such a way that you truly are a selfie of me, so that when the world sees you, they don’t see a reflection of the world but they see me (Matthew 5:16).”

Closing

I see it everyday. A cry for love and affection on social media. Maybe it’s a Facebook status update, a tweet or a selfie on Instagram, but there it is. A statement that says “hey look at me, I’m here, pay attention to me, love me, value me, etc.” No boy, no man, no person will ever bring you the answer to your crying heart except Jesus Christ.

Jesus wants to give you a life that is worth living, that is hope filled and joy filled. He doesn’t want you drinking from the broken cisterns of cheap social media affirmation, but He wants you to be satisfied on the living waters of His Word. You are beautiful. You are priceless. You are created in the Image of God and are the daughter of the One True King. Look to Jesus everyday to find your self worth, you will never be disappointed in Him.

(Added later: Wish I would have found this earlier, but here is a link to a book review of the book True Beauty.)

Here are some thoughts Kristin and the girl leaders will be sharing with the guys:

Boys! You have a bad reputation! Not a reputation you necessarily earned, but one given to you because you are a…boy. Listen to what girls have been told about men:

·      Guys only want one thing so they cannot be trusted

·      Guys are stupid and don’t care

·      Guys are too arrogant and won’t even stop to ask for directions

·      Guys are aggressive and abusive

·      Guys never grow up, they just want to play video games and have fun.

This reputation has been around since long before you were born. It is a really unfortunate stereotype that has led to all kinds of problems. One of the biggest problems with stereotypes is they become self-fulfilling prophecies. Yet, the stereotypes come from somewhere… They come from:

·      Men who idolized one thing over God and the way HE intends relationships, and became overcome by it like a drug

·      Men who thought being the head of a household meant they knew everything and didn’t need to learn

·      Men who believed that their role was more important than other roles, and so should be served and obeyed

·      Men who misunderstood strength as violence

·      Men who never grew up

But, this is not how God created the world. It was not his plan and purpose. That is why Jesus had to come. Jesus is the REAL man, and he was the perfect role model, and he wants to enter your life and make you more like him each and every day! Women need men who love Jesus, to live as God created them to in order for women to live the way God created them to and vice versa.

Women need men to:

-Love Jesus more than anything else and seek him fully

-Learn the TRUTH and teach it… to have opinions and support causes

-Serve others: look for opportunities to be generous and lend a hand

-Be strong. Stand firm on the solid rock of Christ.

-Take responsibility. Provide for yourself, and one day for your family. Protect the girls around you by setting boundaries for yourself and them. Pray for your friends, your family, your future, your enemies, your fears… pray without stopping.

By trusting Jesus and pursuing Him with your whole life you can become a man of God that will develop healthy God-honoring relationships.