Monsters Inside of Me - Anger

 

“Emotions make excellent servants, but tyrannical masters.” – John Seymour

I recently heard this quote and thought it made terrific sense. When we are in control of our emotions we have freedom, but when we are slave to our emotional responses, we are out of control, and then we have little monsters inside of us.

We are talking about The Monsters Inside of Me in our current series. Last week we talked about the monster of “self-delusion,” the monster that gets us to suppress our struggles and pretend that everything is ok. 

The beautiful thing about the Gospel, is that it is ok for us to admit that we are not okay, but Jesus loves us too much to let us stay that way. That’s why we need this series, to see the monsters for what they are and acknowledge them so we can find healing from them.

This week we are going to look at the monster of “anger.” 

How has anger affected your life? 

If I pause for a moment, I can think of several stories where my anger was demonstrated in an inappropriate way. 

Proverbs 14:29

Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly. 

Wisdom has a higher goal than getting even, and unfortunately, far too often in our anger, we seek to get even.

There was the time, in 6th grade, that I felt an injustice was done to me by a kid cutting the line in front of me for tether ball. My anger flared up, I spoke in anger, followed by physical force shoving him to the ground. It happened to be a muddy day and he slipped and landed hard on his arm. He cried and went to the teacher. I spent some time in the principal’s office for my failure to control my anger. 

There was the time on the playground where someone tried to take my basketball. My anger flared. I punched him. Immediately I felt guilty, so I said “God loves you!” then I grabbed my ball and ran home. Instead of telling my parents that I lost my cool and hit someone, I told them that I got the chance to tell someone about God’s love. 

I could keep going, but I won’t bore you with more of my humiliating moments. The simple truth was that I was an enslaved to my anger. I actually thought it was cool and powerful to be angry. I remember my stone cold stare that I would get when I was mad, sometimes riding home in dead silence. I wanted to be tough and powerful.

But I didn’t realize that I was allowing an emotional response to become my master. Rather than learning to control my anger, I was giving in to emotional outbreaks which would later cause divisions with friends and create embarrassment to me.

Anger is a normal human emotional response. It’s not always bad and it’s not always good. It’s an emotion that we need to bring into subjection to the Gospel and not allow it to control us. God’s word is not silent about anger.

James 1:19–21

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.  Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls.

I was not slow to anger in these stories. In my youth, I was quick to get angry, but God’s Word says that we should be slow to anger. Why?

Why do we get angry? We feel an injustice of some kind, something doesn’t go our way, or someone disappoints us. We think we want righteousness, but what we really want is our own way. It is our selfishness and pride that causes us to be quick to anger.

God says “man’s anger does not produce the righteousness of God.” Therefore we should be suspect of our own anger. Don’t trust your angry response, rather we are to receive the teachings of God’s word in meekness. 

I had a pattern of angry outburst from an early age into college. Thank the Lord I had the privilege of going to Word of Life Bible Institute where I was immersed in the Word of God and surrounded by godly friends. Even in this bubble, I had a foolish response where I lost my cool on the volleyball court. 

Leaving the field house, I felt like an idiot and was filled with shame by my response. I began to pray and ask God to change my heart. I decided to take a break from my normal routine and spend time in prayer and studying God’s Word on anger and peace. I was so convicted that I needed to change that I was willing to give up the sport I loved.

Today, I praise God for I know that He has transformed my heart and has given me wisdom through His Word and His Spirit to overcome this monster inside of me. Not that I am perfect, but I am not what I was.

Having found victory in this area, I desire others to know how to control and overcome their anger as well. However, each person is different and their emotional responses are rooted in their life experiences. 

Some of us hold onto a deeper level of anger that only pops up in rare moments.

Some of us have valid reasons for being angry.

It’s ok to not be ok, but God loves you too much to let you stay that way - just as true with anger. Some of us in here have been dealt bad hands in our life, and your anger is fully understandable. But God has more for you than to just live in anger. Even in the worst of circumstances, God’s grace can bring healing and victory to you.

Anger doesn’t have to control us, we choose to let it. When we allow anger to reign in our life we affect others around us. Anger separates friendships and relationships. People don’t want to be around an angry person. Anger causes you to hold on to offenses and desire to get even, but blinds you to the big picture. 

But God offers a different way!

Ephesians 4:26–27

Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. 

God calls us to no sin in our anger, lest we give a foothold in our lives to the devil. When we respond in unchecked anger and allow our emotions to get the best of us, we sin. We act like the devil. We don’t deal with our anger in a godly way.

Anger itself is not a sin, for God Himself is angry at sin and has provided a way for you to find forgiveness and healing from your anger.

“You can’t understand God’s love if you don’t understand his anger.” David Powlison, JBC Vol. 14, 1 (Fall 1995), 41.

Understanding God’s anger inevitably leads us to the cross where God’s justice and mercy meet in perfect, soul-wrenching, Christ-crushing, sin-forgiving, life-giving harmony. The anger of God against our sinful anger was mercifully diverted from us onto His beloved Son. As a result, God preserved and promoted both His justice and humanity’s forgiveness through the cross. – (Jonathan Dodson, Anger: The Image of Satan)

In the cross, God has offered us His forgiveness and demonstrated the remedy for anger – forgiveness. God chooses not to be angry with us because of what Jesus did for us. 

You too can learn to conquer anger through forgiveness. Forgiveness is letting go and surrendering the issue to God. It is seeing that God has already paid for the injustice at the cross and you do not need to hold on to your wrath.

Some issues are simple. When that boy cut in front of me for tether ball, I should have let go of “my right” to be the next person and forgave him for the injustice. He wouldn’t have had a sprained arm and I wouldn’t of had to go to the principal’s office. 

Some issues are much more difficult and will take time, prayer and surrender to the Word of God. Good News, you don’t have to figure it out alone, the Holy Spirit will empower you if you sincerely want to change. You can have victory over the anger monster inside of you!