"I Couldn't Help Myself"

“Why did you do that?”

“I don’t know! I couldn’t help myself!”

Have you ever had this exchange with someone? Either being asked by your parents or a teacher on why you just did something stupid. Or maybe you asked “why” and this was their response.

It was a typical day in kindergarten and we were walking back into the class room at Highland Elementary School. Ahead of me was a girl in the class who realized her shoe was untied. She immediately did the straight leg bend at the waste to tire her shoe. When a “brilliant” idea popped into my mind, and I immediately kicked her in the butt! That’s when she fell down and lay there sprawled out on the floor.

That’s when the guilt began. But of course, instead of saying “I’m sorry” and helping her up, I laughed and teased. And I got in trouble. My teacher asked why I would do such a thing. “I don’t know, I couldn’t help it,” I replied.

Seemed like a good answer to my six-year-old self. It was a stupid thing to do. What seemed super funny and harmless in my mind, was hurtful and mean and led to unpleasant consequences. I remember getting punished at school, but most of all I remember the look on her face and the guilt I felt. Stupid is stupid. In that moment I was lacking something very important: self-control.

Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control.

Proverbs 25:28

If you spend any time in the book of Proverbs, you’ll see that King Solomon was writing advice on how to avoid being stupid. He writes his wisdom prose to help us develop a self-controlled and disciplined life (Proverbs 1:1-7). I believe the book of Proverbs was very instrumental to me as I matured from that silly 6-year old’s mischievous ideas, to understanding how to stop and think through my actions. As a teenager, I spent a lot of time reading through and praying through Proverbs. There are 31 chapters, so I would read 1 chapter a day for every day of the months with 31 days in them.

When we turn on the news today we will see evidence of self-control lacking in people’s lives. The lack of self-control turns a peaceful protest into a riotous mob. We have seen this several times this past week in response to the election results. It takes self-control to avoid these types of situations.

I just read an article today of a “Christian Mom blogger” who has divorced her husband for a woman. It takes self-control to remain faithful to your vows and to deal with sinful thoughts and feelings in a righteous way.

Examples are everywhere of people responding to their feelings. “Don’t tell me I’m wrong!” “God just wants me to be happy!” “If it makes me feel good it can’t be that bad, right?” People lack discretion, the lack self-control.

Self-control is hard. It’s having power over yourself, your desires, your actions and your feelings. It can seem almost impossible at times depending on the situation. But there is great news for Christians: self-control is not entirely up to us! Paul labels self-control as a Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians5:22-23). This means that self-control is an evidence that we love Jesus and that the Holy Spirit is living in us.

If you are finding that you are having a hard time not gossiping, love Jesus more. If you are finding it hard to avoid saying hurtful things, love Jesus more. If you are having a hard time avoiding sinful websites, love Jesus more. You see, it’s about loving Jesus. The more we love Jesus the more the Holy Spirit will help us control our lives. That means you can have control of your anxiety, fear, lust, anger, greed, etc., but loving God with all your heart!

Self-control takes practice and time. There is a behavioral aspect to it. The more stupid you do and the harsher the consequences you face, you may learn to avoid those bad behaviors later. But it is more than behavior modification, it is heart change.

“For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age…” Titus 2:11-12

When we trust Jesus, love Jesus and repent of our sinfulness, He gives us the power to say no to sin. That is a huge promise and a much needed one.

All you have to do is open up Facebook, watch the News, or even walk down the street. You will see so many whose lives lack self-discipline. Ask God to open your eyes to it and the path it leads. There is a reason God lists this as a Fruit of the Spirit, a self-discipline life sets you a part from the world and brings glory to God.

In what area of your life are you lacking self-discipline?